


Third Wheel

by Hertz



Series: Murder Space Gays [4]
Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Black Comedy, Other, Sexual Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28075284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hertz/pseuds/Hertz
Summary: As it turns out, other members of Purple’s species don’t seem to like Cyan very much. They have their own ways of dealing with dissent, however.
Relationships: Cyan/Purple (Among Us), Impostor/Impostor (Among Us)
Series: Murder Space Gays [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969033
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	Third Wheel

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit, this one was pushing a mature rating

Jade had seen many, many things in their long career. That one crewmate that had accused themself and got sent out the airlock. An ex-fellow impostor who had stupidly been caught on Jade’s own kill. And ghosts did exist, for Jade had seen floating wires arranging themselves neatly by colour one fine day.

However, this had to be the first time they had rounded a corner, entered security, poised to strike, when the human had simply _punched them in the face_.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Jade growled in a series of distorted screeches, falling the the ground and writhing in pain. They clutched their eyes, willing the throbbing to stop. It did, eventually, and Jade could force their eyes open once again.

There was a snicker and a clunking sound as another of their own species crept out of the vents. “Good one, Cyan.”

“I know where your weak spots are,” Cyan simply retorted. They turned their attention to Jade, then, brandishing a knife before their eyes. “Okay, I know you aliens are stupid as fuck, but attacking _another impostor_? Really?”

“...you.” Jade rose to their full height again, eyes wide in their human disguise.

“Yes, me,” said Cyan, twirling the knife in their hand.

Jade stared a moment longer before bursting out into howls of laughter. “Fuck, they’re really sending pipsqueaks like you now,” Jade choked out amidst their laughing. Cyan’s gaze had darkened, but Jade continued, “And just what does a pathetic _human_ like you think they can do?”

“Purple?” Cyan turned to the third impostor in the room. Jade watched as Purple nodded, arranging their form back into one of an unsuspecting crewmate’s.

“Firstly, they can kick your ass and look hot as hell doing it,” said Purple with a smug smile. They weren't even looking at Jade, the nerve of this idiot. Instead, they were cooly checking the texture of their new gloved hands while they continued, “Secondly, humans are less likely to suspect someone with certified proof they’re human. Also, Cyan can hack systems, make cleaner kills than us, and fake every single task on board.”

“Aww, you flatter me,” said Cyan with a smirk, placing one hand over their chest as they pretended to faint.

Hang on. The way they were talking about each other meant that...

“Dear lord, you two are fucking, aren’t you,” Jade realised with a groan.

“Not _just_ that,” said Purple in a genuinely offended tone. They pulled Cyan close to them and added, “We’re _mates_.” Jade had to stare as Purple gave Cyan a smile, and the snarky human’s haughty expression dissolved into something much warmer. Purple curled one of their hands around Cyan’s waist, and Cyan leaned into their touch.

Okay, this had gone beyond weird to weird _as fuck_.

“Excuse me?” Jade pointed at Cyan forcefully, staring Purple down. “I know this one’s a wannabe edgelord and all, but have you seriously forgotten why we’re attacking the humans in the first place?”

“However did you guess,” said Purple with a roll of their eyes. “Please ask again in a month. I might have had ten thousand more briefings in that timespan. Perhaps that would jog my memory.”

“Okay, whatever, smartasses.” Jade pushed them apart forcefully. “While we’re on duty, no workplace romance, you hear? Your lovey dovey shit is frankly _disgusting_ and I don’t want to see it. Especially those _human_ gestures.”

“Fine, fine, we’ll tone it down,” Purple grumbled. They reached over and squeezed Cyan’s shoulders, trying to discreetly tell them to stop _growling _already.__

__“Well.” Jade stepped back, nodding once in satisfaction. “It is refreshing we are so understanding of each other’s boundaries. I am glad we could come to an agreement.”_ _

____

.

They were _not_ respecting the terms of the agreement.

Jade had vented into electrical, searching for any vulnerable victims. Well, there _had_ been two, but Cyan and Purple had apparently already taken care of it. Cyan was sitting on their knees with a knife, slicing through Yellow’s corpse. Purple was bent over Brown’s dead body in their real, beastly form.

“This looks just like my heart.” Cyan held up a mushy red organ so Purple could see. “It beats for you, like this.” They laughed as they squished the heart in their hands, smearing the blood over their gloves.

“You’re so sweet even if you _are_ an idiot,” said Purple with a soft smile. They bent down to nuzzle against the top of Cyan’s head and _ew_ they really were in love with a fucking _human_.

“What the fuck is the meaning of this?” Jade whispered harshly, taking amusement in the way both impostors jumped out of their skin.

“What the hell is your deal?” Purple snapped, scrambling away from Cyan as their scales turned pink in embarrassment. “You weren’t even _here_ to witness this, what are you fucking complaining about?”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” Jade challenged.

“Okay, so let me get this straight.” Cyan gestured wildly, obviously frustrated beyond measure. “We can’t hug or hold hands or flirt not just in front of you, but when you’re not here as well?”

“This entire space ship is interconnected by these vents,” Jade said coolly, tapping one foot against the cover. “It’s your responsibility to remember they’re there and act accordingly. You wouldn’t want me to walk in on something private, would I?”

“Are you seriously going to vent into _our quarters_ , you fucking pervert?” Purple grit out between their teeth.

Jade paused at that. “Well, no.” They closed their mouth and thought over it a while. “Actually, maybe, just to make sure there’s no funny business going on. Your choice in mate is questionable at best, Purple. I hope you realise that.”

“Oh, for the love of -” Purple hooked Jade by the neck with one tentacle with a deep glare. It coiled tighter around it as Purple continued, “I have had to deal with this shit from my parents, my siblings, and even my higher ups in the military! Do you think I don’t know that?”

“Perhaps you should listen to them,” said Jade with a cock of their head. They both knew their real lungs were elsewhere. This was just for show, and they were in no real danger. “I don’t see why you keep ignoring good advice.”

Purple was silent at that, their gaze travelling to Cyan. “I… can’t,” they said in a small voice. Cyan visibly blushed as they continued, “I lo - like them a lot. I know they’re a human, but they’re worth it, I swear.”

“Ugh, more of this, I see.” Unimpressed, Jade slipped out of Purple’s grasp easily by shifting their form. “Whatever. Have fun with your little friend. Someday you'll realise and get a real mate.” 

Jade missed the look on Purple’s face that spelled bloody murder as they vented back out of electrical.

.

Now the fucking couple _had_ to be doing it on purpose. A touch here and there, a teasing line every so often. And the worst part of it was sitting through the crewmate’s oohs and aahs as Cyan and Purple did something sickeningly sweet for the _umpteenth_ time.

“Aren’t they just so cute together?” Pink gushed. The two were in the near distance at weapons, cuddling each other close as they shot asteroids of all things. Could they not spend a moment apart from each other? This was just pathetic.

“Awww, they’re adorable,” Black laughed, resting their cheeks on their hands. “They can’t be murderers, no one _that_ awful could be capable of feelings like that!”

 _Oh tee fucking hee,_ Jade seethed to themself. _Surprise, surprise._

And it just kept going on and on and _on_. Day after day they’d be as obnoxious as possible in full view of the besieged impostor. Jade had learned things about human gestures of affection that they had never wanted to know ever, thank you. And it was all their damn fault.

Humans were puny parasites to be _destroyed_. Humans were _not_ supposed to be bent over the admin table and fucked thoroughly, what the _hell_ Purple. Jade was starting to regret saying they’d vent into their bedroom, if only so they’d stop their horrid displays of affection that were far, far too public.

This was horrible. Jade hadn’t killed a single human in a week because of all these distractions running rampant around the ship. Cyan and Purple were taking all the glory and the credit and they were just screwing around. _Literally_ at times.

Finally, Jade gave up prowling for new prey and simply opted to join Cyan and Purple instead. As fucking cringeworthy as they were, they were genuinely competent - no one had suspected them yet somehow.

But of course that came with its _own_ set of problems.

“You cut it open,” Purple giggled. Their tentacles swept over Lime’s corpse in a coy manner. Jade fought hard not to roll their eyes to the sky.

“Oh no, I insist, _you_ chew them up and swallow them good,” Cyan replied with a wink. “I know how hungry you must be. Better to eat them before you eat me -“

Alright, that was _it_.

Jade split their torso open, scooping up Lime’s dead body, engulfing them whole. Blood spilled down their mouth, splattering onto the floor.

Cyan and Purple stared at the mess.

“Wow, way to go, buzzkill, you totally ruined our moment,” said Cyan, glaring at them.

“I -“ and at this Jade took several steps forward to jab Cyan in the chest, “have had enough of your goddamn _flirting_ to last me for the next _century_. The hell does this weakling see in you?” They scoffed at Purple, whose gaze had turned deadly. “You’re a pathetic _human_! The very species we were sent to rally against! Yet they’re here protecting you, flirting with you, _fucking_ you -”

There was a noise as the vent jerked shut. 

“Ah, now they’ve fled. Just like the coward they are.” Jade let out a scoff, giving Cyan a frosty glare that the smaller impostor returned with equal ferocity. “What will you do without them, I wonder? Cry? Run? Tremble? I bet you’re nothing without Purple. You know…” Jade suddenly shot forward, pressing Cyan up against the wall. And for all their bluster, a human could only do so much against an alien impostor. 

“No one’s around to save you,” Jade hissed with a smile that exposed their sharp, sharp teeth.

“Oh, go sit on a dick, you stupid cunt. Stop fucking around and kill me if you’ve got the balls,” Cyan replied, their cold glance far too dismissive for their liking. 

In fact, it made Jade want to kill Cyan even more. 

Pity that they needed them alive. Annoying as team members could be, a numerical advantage was always good to have. Jade’s smile widened. But they supposed _that_ was how Cyan wanted to play. Very well, then. They’d simply _play_ with Purple’s little toy. Their jaw stretched open, a little strenuous after the meal they had just had.

The loud blare of the emergency button being pressed interrupted their thoughts once again. They hissed in displeasure. Whatever. That could wait. Jade needed to show up, sure, but they could just kill Cyan and go. Make them suffer. Make them _both_ pay for this special little hell they had created for Jade.

Yet, at that moment, Purple dashed into the room with the rest of the crew in tow. “It’s them! I knew it!” Purple gasped, pointing at Jade with a look of desperate _fear_ in their eyes. “I couldn’t find Cyan and they had said they were with you. I knew it had to be you, I - you _monster_! Get away from them!”

...wait, _what_.

Jade had just a moment to glance back at their victim - oh, Cyan suddenly looked terrified - before a purple blur was crashing into their sides and they found themself smashed flat on the floor.

“Hold them!” Blue commanded, and Jade suddenly found themself pinned on all sides by pesky humans.

“Wait, I… Purple, what is the _meaning_ of this?” Jade’s voice rose to a screech of absolute fury. “What the hell, you fucking _traitor_! Just for that lowly human scum? _Really?_ ”

“Don’t listen to them,” said Purple to the crew, busying themself with hugging Cyan to their chest. “They’re desperate to get out of this situation is all. Would I have outed Jade if I really was on their side?”

“T-they tried to _eat_ me,” Cyan was sniffing, burying their face in Purple’s shoulder in an absolutely sickening fashion. “I was so scared…”

“Purple is right,” said Blue seriously. “Jade, you were caught attacking Cyan, and Purple is clearly trustworthy. You might as well just give up already.”

“But I…” Jade was still gaping. “I… I…”

So this was how it all ended - Jade cast out the airlock as the crew firmly believed them to be, of all things, a _bad liar_. As Jade swore colourfully in their native tongue while the air in their lungs rapidly thinned, they vowed to get revenge on those idiots. Even if it meant from beyond the grave.

.

“Ha! That stupid bitch is fucking gone,” Cyan snickered as they dusted their hands off. “Good thinking.”

“They were kinda a shitty coworker anyway, fuck them,” Purple said, giving Jade’s floating dead body in space the finger. “Nice acting.”

Cyan laughed. “Thank you.”

“Thank _you_.” Purple coughed at that and turned away, pink tinting their shapeshifted helmet.

“So.” Cyan leaned forward so they were in range of Purple’s vision again, giving them a large smile. “Coffee and murder?”

“...okay. We can get rid of Green in the kitchen, that hyperactive idiot loves their sugar,” Purple said with a little grin of their own. They hooked their arm through Cyan’s, allowing their partner to lead the way.


End file.
